Staying Patient

Since I've been doing quite a bit of writing recently, my running has been pushed to the back-burner (not permanently, just until I feel in a better place to take breaks from writing more than just to go to work). Although I do need to at some point really buckle-down on my time management, I have stuck to my diet for the most part. 

Recently I have added an element to my tasks becoming a Better Shelby, so that I do feel like I'm still achieving something. This is the mental element of being kinder and complaining less.

 This week, I am officially adding something else to that list that I have been working towards: be more patient with people. Both to what they can see and what goes on in my mind.

So I have a list of six tips of what has helped me in the past, and what will hopefully help me continue.

1.) Take three deep breaths before saying anything while flustered or frustrated. This gives a chance for any mean or overly sarcastic statement to evaporate.

2.) Remember others are dealing with their own issues. They might (and probably do) have something going on in their lives that is making them short or not terribly considerate of others. I tend to be creepy and try to imagine everyone's lives around me, especially if I don't know anything about them. Sometimes I am actually really good at figuring it out because there are so many people who if you ask if they are finding everything they will take that as "tell me everything about you," and then they go on to tell me a lot. Although that is something I do enjoy, when I am trying to get work done but don't want to be rude, it can be a bit of a problem. 

3.) Get plenty of sleep. When a person gets the proper amount of sleep, not too much, not too little, then it is easier to cope with the repetitive struggles of everyday life. I've not been as successful doing this recently, but I still try!

4.) Don't let yourself get too hungry. There is a term for people who are so hungry they are angry. That word is hangry. Snickers has it right when they say "you're not yourself when you're hungry." And it is true. It is much more difficult to deal with a person on an empty stomach. 

5.) Be willing to learn. Most people are stubborn and don't like change or anything different from them. If you enjoy learning new things, when things aren't going how you want them it is so much easier to view it as a new opportunity to learn something. It makes difficult situations easier to deal with. 

6.) Don't let the small stuff get you down. Little things have a tendency to seem much bigger than they are. If you take a moment and see how this will alter the big picture, then it can help put things in perspective. If it is something big, then deal with it. If it isn't, then still deal with it, but don't let it bring your whole day crashing down into a giant pile of burning, stinking rubble. If you can, don't even let it be a blip on your good/bad day radar. 

They aren't life shattering tips, but they have been helping me out these days. Hopefully they'll help you out too.

What are things that help you stay calm? Comment below!

Until next time,

Shelby Hild

Mental Elements

Today's blog post was initially going to be about PCOS, what it is and how it affects people. But the more I thought about it, the less I felt this week should be about that.

Then I thought about making a blog post dedicated to my cat because she has been a delightful little angel this week and I adore her. But then I realized how silly of an idea that would be.

Instead, today's post is about a new challenge I am adding to my list of things, now that I am no longer doing my super Cheat Week for eating healthier and exercising. (By the way I can officially do 10 push-ups which is 10 more than I used to be able to do, so I'm pretty excited about that.)

I mentioned last week how sometimes I have a difficult time sticking to things (especially diets and such) and it is very true. You could say my attention span is limited.

When it comes to writing, I will work really hard on something for the first half of it and then lose every milligram of steam I had towards it. So I'd start something new. In notebooks and word documents, I have at least one hundred stories started and then forgotten.

Having a strong will power is incredibly helpful in all of the things I am trying to do, but mine isn't very strong after a few weeks.

Thankfully, my writing hasn't declined too much. It did for a bit, but I've managed to catch back up with where I wanted to be at. That is part of the reason I am a day late on posting this, because I was working on my current WIP novel.

One thing that I have recently noticed about me is my thoughts have turned rather negative. Not necessarily about writing or anything, but overall. That mindset is making me grumpier than normal. Being grumpier than normal makes life not necessarily... nice. Which makes me complain more and more and then it is just a never ending cycle of weary complaints and anger.

I don't want to be an angry person. Ever.

In the past, I have known a few people who I would describe as that, and they just bring the people around them down. I don't want to do that.

I want to be one of those people that everyone is happy to see. I want to be an uplifting figure on people's lives. The one thing I've wanted to do for so long, one could say it is actually my life goal (although being the first real author on Dancing With the Stars would definitely help me achieve this to a point) is I want to inspire people to be happy and be better people.

That's why writing is so important to me, that's why books are so important to me. Growing up, books are what helped me through a lot of tough times (for me, they were tough although looking back when compared to other peoples' childhoods it was nothing).

Books were what saved me, they helped me escape. They taught me to think, to truly think about things. They taught me to dream about what is and what could be. They are probably the reason I have a history of incredibly bizarre dreams (like the ones I have at night, not goals for the future).

I hope that at least one of the books I write can have this same effect on just one person. If that can happen, I don't care what else I manage to do in life. It will have been a successful life.

BUT to be able to have that sort of influence on people, I feel like I need to truly be a happy person. Through and through, not just on the surface.

So starting today, starting right now, I will do less complaining. I am going to limit myself to one complaint a day both aloud and in my head. Then when I can do that with ease, I will limit myself to one a week, then one a month, and then hopefully I will be out of the complaining habit.

Because to be completely honest, I've not got much to complain about. Especially after realizing the truth of the quote:

"The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for."

So,
Until Next Time,
Shelby Hild

P.S. It is not my quote, but I can't remember where I first heard it from.

Staying Motivated

This last week was a bad week.
In every aspect of what I've been trying to accomplish.
-I failed at eating healthy. Like absolutely failed.
     One day at work, my lunch wasn't quite filling and so I went to get something to munch on from the cheap dollar store nearby. They didn't have any healthy choices so I got some unhealthy ones. My week continued down that path and I had bootloads of pizza and chips and cookies.

-I only exercised once. It was a run/walk.

-Mentally, I just wasn't in it at all. I was grumpy and unhappy in my mind.

-I only wrote like 2000 words total.

Normally, when I have a week like this when trying to get fit or eat better (granted normally it happens on week three rather than five or six) I feel so bad and guilty that I GIVE UP.

I refuse to give up though. It's a setback, that's all.

All day I have been telling myself:
-I am strong.
and
-I can do this.

I might not actually be terribly strong, but I will be. I know I can do this.

I've packed my lunch for today (a yummy looking salad). I went for a run this morning (finally moving on to week 3 of the couch to 5K program). Later, I'll go to work, but before that, I'll do some writing.

This time I will not give up.

This time I am determined.

Progress Report #1

Although it has only been a week since my last update, it feels like it has been forever. It's probably because the past couple of days have been so busy and 11 of this last weekends 48 hours were spent in my car.

Any way, today's post isn't terribly long or complicated. Basically, it's some statistics that "help" determine if I'm making any progress.

Since part of my journey is to become physically healthy, I have been working on my diet and I've been exercising.

My current weight is: 153.4 lbs. That means I have lost nearly 10 pounds this month.

For running, I've been doing the Couch to 5k thing to help me learn to enjoy running (which has so far failed, I still hate running). The app that I've been using is Zen Labs Fitness c25K - 5K Running Trainer, which is pretty nice. It works with my phone's music. It dings whenever I switch from running to walking and vice versa. When I get a certain percentage done with the program, it unlocks free stuff which is always fun. I've been stuck on the last day of the second week for about three weeks now, because I have been having issues pushing through the last running segment, but I think I'm finally going to be able to move on.

This month I will be adding to my work out regimen which until today has solely consisted of running. At some point I will post pictures of progress, but that's not yet.

Where writing is concerned with my current WIP, I have got 31,000 words written technically 30,894. Which is about 28,000 more than when I started this blog, so that is nice.

See you next week,
Shelby

Love What You Do

I thought I'd start this post with an adorable picture of the love of my life.

For those of you who don't have the pleasure of knowing this little angel (*coughbratcough*), her name is Dr. Hathor Nuvvin-Tau Zeus. She makes me smile at least once a day. She also makes me want to strangle her at least once a day. Ah, the life of a (pet) parent.

Today I did a lot (including come up with an ingenious idea for a new nail polish brand-- I now need to learn how to make nail polish. If you know how, hit me up. Granted, I've no idea really how starting a nail polish company will help me in my life goal, it'd be interesting!). Opening at work has never been my favorite, but I enjoy the hour without any customers to really try and get the Kids section put back together. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. 

As I was looking through quotes on Pinterest (if you want to follow me, click here) at lunch, I came across a quote that I've read multiple times before. The quote was "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life." 

So here I was, eating my spaghetti and listening to Ed stack boxes outside of the break room, when it hit me. Although I love where I work, it has gotten to the point where I get anxious to go in to the store every day. 

I love writing. I love working in Kids (although I'm not terribly fond of one of the other people who works in this section, I figure it is good to only not like one out of all my coworkers, so I won't complain too much. Unless he tells me I was trained wrong or tries to take a buy from me that is already half done and I'm main buyer one more time) and with kids and their parents.

So why would I be anxious going into work each day, I asked myself as Ed stops stacking boxes and starts talking to someone else in the stockroom. I get annoyed at the thought of working with the previously mentioned coworker, but not enough to practically not want to go to work. 

Then, it hit me as quickly as someone saying, "don't worry, this is Shelby and she knows everything about the kids section." 

It was the same reason why sometimes I would go months without writing a word. It was the same reason I almost didn't adopt my precious Hathor. It was the same reason why I rarely open up to people in the real world.

I'm terrified of not being good enough. I know, a lot of people are frightened of that, but they don't let that stop them. And if I'm being completely honest with myself, I'm scared of many things. 

But I got a degree in writing. What am I supposed to do if in reality I suck at writing? What if I am never able to sell a book? It is so much easier to not write, or to continually rework what has been written than to finish something and put it out there. No one can tell me I wasted four years and thousands of dollars. 

What if I fail? 

Am I just supposed to stay at my current job for the rest of my life? If I even wanted to do that, I'd never be able to afford living on my own and as much as I love and respect my parents, I refuse to do that. So what would I be able to do if writing isn't for me? Go back to college? Dig myself even deeper in this hole of debt? No. I'm done with school. At least the official kind.

So how can I fail at a job where I shelve books, buy books, sell books, and deal with people all day? I can fail to help someone find a book they really want. I can make a horrible suggestion for a book. I could accidentally buy a box of books that are infested with silverfish and infest the entire store. I can make a customer feel stupid for asking a dumb question or angry because he or she doesn't feel like I really care about helping him or her.

As hard as I try to treat every customer how I want to be treated in a store, it is hard too some days. Especially if I've dealt with multiple difficult customers in a row. 

This month my goal was to start running and eating healthier, along with writing consistently. 

Today I finished coming up with February's goal. Along with starting to exercise my arms (since lifting and rearranging boxes all the time doesn't actual help much in getting upper body strength) and continuing what I've started this month, my goal is to stop being anxious going to work. I'm still going to try to please every customer, but I'm not going to let it affect me as much. I'm also going to try and stop complaining so much about specific things at work. 

So hopefully, mentally, I'll be in a better place.

Until next week,

Shelby

P.S. If you want to follow my Twitter, my name is @shelbabe804 (I've been trying to change it for a few months, but haven't figured out how to do that on the phone app so... yeah...). My Instagram is the same. 

P.P.S. This weekend I'll be going to Fort Worth to see my Tau Beta Sigma family and hopefully some other friends, so I'll get to start my month off in a good place. Long drives always relax me and I miss everyone up there! Also, next week will be a progress report of sorts.

 P.P.P.S. This is Hathor saying "You're leaving me this weekend? How could you! #judgingyouhardcore"

7 Tips for Productive Writing Sessions

This last week was delightful. 

I got an entire week off from work. Despite how much I do enjoy working, it was a much needed, and I believe, well deserved break. 

My hope was to spend the entire week writing. I had a very high expectation for my concentration skills and had a goal of 10k words per day because, hey, all I had to do was write each day. That did not happen. BUT, I was able to make some progress on my current WIP and am almost done with the First Act of it. 

Which is a great feeling.

I wrote an average of 3k each day (nowhere near my initial goal, but I didn't lose my mind nor decide I hated what I am working on).  There were a few days where I didn't get anywhere near what I wanted written and other days where the words just wouldn't stop flowing. 

Throughout this week, I was able to discover seven tips that helped me work better. Although these may be particular to me, maybe they'll help you out when you just can't seem to find a groove. These are listed in no particular order except for how I discovered them.

1. Have a doable goal  -- This is important because if you set an outrageously high goal then you'll lose motivation to write. After two days of having 10k as my goal (and falling quite short of reaching said goal) I almost stopped writing for the week. Thankfully I realized I was just procrastinating my goals for the future because if I can't finish one book, I sure as heck won't finish a second and if I don't finish books, how in the world will I be able to be the first legitimate author on Dancing with the Stars? Goodness, I won't even be able to move out. ever. 
2. Use a program that is helpful to you -- There are so many different writing programs out there it is ridiculous. All of them say "this will help you the best" and some of them cost small fortunes and who has time to look through all of them? At least that was my mindset when I started trying to find a useful program. I was able to locate a program called yWriter which has been helpful to a point. I can see how helpful it is going to be once I get to the editing stage, so I'm making sure to keep my book up to date in it and everything. BUT the program I've been using for the most part is something I actually discovered while in school: Google Docs. I've got the App on my phone and I've got it on my computer. When I'm not with my computer, I generally have my phone. Sudden idea pop in my head like a screaming pterodactyl? Boom, I throw it into a doc. Overhear a perfect piece of dialogue from a customer whose nephew had the world's worst first date? Bam, into a doc. And if you're like me and like to relax in a bubble bath with a glass of wine and contemplate future issues for your protagonist, then you can put it right there in the Doc your WIP is in (as long as there is no concern of dropping it into water because phones and water don't get along -- trust me, I've been through enough phones due to water, I know). These are the two programs that I have found work well for me, so find your own and away you'll fly!
3. Turn off the internet -- This one was more difficult for me because I was writing on a Google Doc, and listening to Pandora, but it is possible to refuse to look at any other webpages. It's hard to fight the pull of Facebook and Pinterest at first, but eventually it gets easier. 
4. Set a timer, take breaks -- Don't overload your brain. If you do this, you won't get any work done for days. On my first day I thought it would be similar to writing a 20 page research paper (and getting material and sources) in one day because it was due at midnight. I did it four, maybe five times, in college (not that I'd recommend it). I had forgotten how useless I was the rest of the week when I did that. I didn't quite make it that long when trying my first super sprint. Probably because I knew my GPA wasn't counting on my doing well on a paper. For breaks, I would recommend going for a walk, getting fresh air, reminding you dog (or cat) that you do indeed still exist and still love them by having an intense play session. 
5. Drink Water -- A lot of tips I've read over the years have mentioned being sure to have plenty of coffee or tea or whatever caffeinated beverage keeps you pumped on hand, but rarely have I seen anything that says to drink water. So I'm being sure to say it. It is very difficult to focus when you are dehydrated. This also plays a key part because of the next tip.
6. Alcohol -- If you are under the drinking age this does not apply to you. At all. Because I do not condone breaking the law. Otherwise, for those who are of legal drinking age, I would recommend this to a point. Emphasis on the to a point. Being slightly tipsy did wonders for writing for me. I'm one of those people who constantly goes back to what I worked on yesterday, decides it sucks, and tries to redo it. That makes it very difficult to move forward on a project. That is what has killed past attempts for me to blog (and is part of why I force myself to write all of these blog posts in one sitting although I've planned what I'm going to say all week). But when I had some alcohol in my system, I wasn't as critical towards my work and guess what? I actually made progress. With that said, be wary. Don't cross the line between tipsy and drunk. Trying to write while drunk is not fun. Well, it was fun, but what is written doesn't necessarily make sense. 
7. Atmosphere -- The atmosphere of where you write is important in how well you can focus. Some people do well in busy areas, some people like coffee shops. Me personally? I can't have a lot of stuff going on. Thankfully, I have an office in my house, sort of. I can close myself up in the room (that isn't my bedroom, otherwise I'd just always take naps and make no progress because I was always asleep). The first day went okay (until construction workers outside decided to blare music so loudly I couldn't hear my music over it). On the second day though, I changed the candle that was lit since I love candles from one that was a lavender scent to a fruity peach one. I tend to be fond of Bath and Body Works candles, this Peach one specifically. Fruity scents wake me up and help me stay focused.

They seem rather simple, but these are seven things that helped me go from somewhat productive at the beginning of my week to being very productive (although not 10k a day productive) by the end of the week. Now, I won't get another week off again any time soon, but I will bring these tips with me for my days off in the future. I'm finally making real progress and it feels great.

Is there anything specific that helps you focus when you have to concentrate for long periods of time? Feel free to comment below!

Until next week,

Shelby Hild

Write Drunk, Edit Sober

That is my plan this week. Sort of.

One of my big problems while writing is I always look back at what I have written and decide it sucks.

And this week is all about my writing. (I mean, I took the week off of work so I could focus completely on writing now that I officially have an office in my house and can write without being distracted -- except for when the construction workers outside decide to blast spanish music so loudly I can hear it over my blaring classical music).

But don't worry. Today was day 3 of the first week of my 5k training. And it went delightfully. Cold. It went cold. Because it was cold outside. I don't like the cold. BUT I didn't use it as an excuse. I went out. I did the run. And here I am. Post shower. So I don't smell.

Sorry. I may be somewhat tipsy. But I am 23 years old so that is okay because it is completely legal here in America.

Anywho. That quote. "Write Drunk, Edit Sober" is generally attributed to Ernest Hemingway, but fun story -- no one has actually been able to link it to him. At least according to my last minute research which may or may not be able to be verified.

I have had a professor once tell me that my mind was so out there when I was sober he'd pay to see what I wrote under the influence of alcohol.

It is very likely I will end up regretting this post, but it is Monday and I am determined to update every Monday no matter what.

Today, I have walked/ run over four miles. I have stuck (mostly) by my diet (since alcohol technically isn't part of the diet). AND I have written over 5K. which is delightful. Tomorrow I plan on getting up a bit earlier (so at 8 rather than 10) in order to get more work done. I am not done writing for today either, so that is just today's current number. I know that is only half of my original goal, since I was saying I wanted to write 10K a day.

That was before remembering how distractable I am. But my real goal is to finish the first draft of my current WIP and get at least 50K done this week. While not totally forgoing the whole getting fit part of my New Year's Resolution.

I'm not actually going to get drunk every day this week because that is unhealthy. But tipsy is probably a good state because I'll still mostly be mentally there, but I'll be able to let go of my inner writing perfectionist so that I can actually progress.

Plus, I'm off all week and it is cold outside. What else can I do besides read? (There is NOTHING wrong with reading in fact I love reading it is delightful but I can't find my kindle, I don't want to start another book series because that is all I own and I won't be able to stop reading the series until I devour it and everything else written by the author so I'd get no writing done,)

Speaking of writing, it appears I can't get anything done without listening to music without words. My Epic Soundtrack station on Pandora is sending me more to random piano pieces that are soothing and somewhat put me to sleep rather than Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Braveheart, etc. Soundtracks. Any suggestions for what I could/should listen to?

Until next time, I'll be back to writing fiction. Tchao,

I'll leave you with a link to foliage in Pennsylvania. Just for Grins and Giggles here