A Year Ago

I am super sorry it has taken me a month to update this blog. I have multiple posts in the wings getting ready to be posted, so thankfully I shouldn't have anymore long waits in between them.

I've just been busy.

Very Busy.

Between work where I have been working extra hours (yay paycheck, nay life) and multiple other things, this blog just slipped away from me.

This last weekend I spent in Nashville, Tennessee for my best friend's wedding and it was absolutely gorgeous and she looked practically ethereal. I have known this woman since kindergarten and I was blessed to have been there when she and her husband met.

My dad has a new job as soon as the background check and drug tests come back saying he doesn't do drugs, nor has he been a criminal.

This post, other than a quick catch up, is something I've been hesitant about writing.

In two days it will be the anniversary of my grandmother's death. The anniversary of everything around me shattering into trillions of little pieces while I just stood there too in shock to even try to catch a few of the pieces.

I miss her. Everyday. To go from catching up with her every single afternoon or morning depending on when I had to work, sitting in her room and helping her do puzzles, or commenting on the awkward TV scene I walked in on her watching, and then her just being gone...

Sometimes it still hits me like a wrecking ball straight in my stomach and I can't breath, I can't think. My pulse races and my head empties of everything but her smile.

I miss her. But life does move on. And I've grown so much in this past year, it's strange to look back on who I used to be. This growth has been thanks to her. As much as I wish for her to still be here by my side telling me I can do this, being my support system, being the foundation of my life, I know what she would want from me. She would have wanted me to grow and to continue learning. That's what I've been doing and that's what I plan to continue doing.

Anyway,

I've been working on something all year, off and on, and figured I might as well post it. Poetry isn't my strong point so... yeah...

I See You
By Shelby Hild

I see you in the sky today
one moment there
then like a cloud,
you've blown away.
Your voice, it whispers in
the wind through
the oak trees
dancing green leaves.
The birds sing the song
you sang to me
and I just can't help
but hum along.
I see you in the
stars tonight
your eyes glisten in
the sparkling light
and your laughter
rings throughout the dark
while crickets chirp
their nightly prayers
and send you home again.


Until Next Time,
Shelby Hild