Love What You Do

I thought I'd start this post with an adorable picture of the love of my life.

For those of you who don't have the pleasure of knowing this little angel (*coughbratcough*), her name is Dr. Hathor Nuvvin-Tau Zeus. She makes me smile at least once a day. She also makes me want to strangle her at least once a day. Ah, the life of a (pet) parent.

Today I did a lot (including come up with an ingenious idea for a new nail polish brand-- I now need to learn how to make nail polish. If you know how, hit me up. Granted, I've no idea really how starting a nail polish company will help me in my life goal, it'd be interesting!). Opening at work has never been my favorite, but I enjoy the hour without any customers to really try and get the Kids section put back together. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. 

As I was looking through quotes on Pinterest (if you want to follow me, click here) at lunch, I came across a quote that I've read multiple times before. The quote was "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life." 

So here I was, eating my spaghetti and listening to Ed stack boxes outside of the break room, when it hit me. Although I love where I work, it has gotten to the point where I get anxious to go in to the store every day. 

I love writing. I love working in Kids (although I'm not terribly fond of one of the other people who works in this section, I figure it is good to only not like one out of all my coworkers, so I won't complain too much. Unless he tells me I was trained wrong or tries to take a buy from me that is already half done and I'm main buyer one more time) and with kids and their parents.

So why would I be anxious going into work each day, I asked myself as Ed stops stacking boxes and starts talking to someone else in the stockroom. I get annoyed at the thought of working with the previously mentioned coworker, but not enough to practically not want to go to work. 

Then, it hit me as quickly as someone saying, "don't worry, this is Shelby and she knows everything about the kids section." 

It was the same reason why sometimes I would go months without writing a word. It was the same reason I almost didn't adopt my precious Hathor. It was the same reason why I rarely open up to people in the real world.

I'm terrified of not being good enough. I know, a lot of people are frightened of that, but they don't let that stop them. And if I'm being completely honest with myself, I'm scared of many things. 

But I got a degree in writing. What am I supposed to do if in reality I suck at writing? What if I am never able to sell a book? It is so much easier to not write, or to continually rework what has been written than to finish something and put it out there. No one can tell me I wasted four years and thousands of dollars. 

What if I fail? 

Am I just supposed to stay at my current job for the rest of my life? If I even wanted to do that, I'd never be able to afford living on my own and as much as I love and respect my parents, I refuse to do that. So what would I be able to do if writing isn't for me? Go back to college? Dig myself even deeper in this hole of debt? No. I'm done with school. At least the official kind.

So how can I fail at a job where I shelve books, buy books, sell books, and deal with people all day? I can fail to help someone find a book they really want. I can make a horrible suggestion for a book. I could accidentally buy a box of books that are infested with silverfish and infest the entire store. I can make a customer feel stupid for asking a dumb question or angry because he or she doesn't feel like I really care about helping him or her.

As hard as I try to treat every customer how I want to be treated in a store, it is hard too some days. Especially if I've dealt with multiple difficult customers in a row. 

This month my goal was to start running and eating healthier, along with writing consistently. 

Today I finished coming up with February's goal. Along with starting to exercise my arms (since lifting and rearranging boxes all the time doesn't actual help much in getting upper body strength) and continuing what I've started this month, my goal is to stop being anxious going to work. I'm still going to try to please every customer, but I'm not going to let it affect me as much. I'm also going to try and stop complaining so much about specific things at work. 

So hopefully, mentally, I'll be in a better place.

Until next week,

Shelby

P.S. If you want to follow my Twitter, my name is @shelbabe804 (I've been trying to change it for a few months, but haven't figured out how to do that on the phone app so... yeah...). My Instagram is the same. 

P.P.S. This weekend I'll be going to Fort Worth to see my Tau Beta Sigma family and hopefully some other friends, so I'll get to start my month off in a good place. Long drives always relax me and I miss everyone up there! Also, next week will be a progress report of sorts.

 P.P.P.S. This is Hathor saying "You're leaving me this weekend? How could you! #judgingyouhardcore"

7 Tips for Productive Writing Sessions

This last week was delightful. 

I got an entire week off from work. Despite how much I do enjoy working, it was a much needed, and I believe, well deserved break. 

My hope was to spend the entire week writing. I had a very high expectation for my concentration skills and had a goal of 10k words per day because, hey, all I had to do was write each day. That did not happen. BUT, I was able to make some progress on my current WIP and am almost done with the First Act of it. 

Which is a great feeling.

I wrote an average of 3k each day (nowhere near my initial goal, but I didn't lose my mind nor decide I hated what I am working on).  There were a few days where I didn't get anywhere near what I wanted written and other days where the words just wouldn't stop flowing. 

Throughout this week, I was able to discover seven tips that helped me work better. Although these may be particular to me, maybe they'll help you out when you just can't seem to find a groove. These are listed in no particular order except for how I discovered them.

1. Have a doable goal  -- This is important because if you set an outrageously high goal then you'll lose motivation to write. After two days of having 10k as my goal (and falling quite short of reaching said goal) I almost stopped writing for the week. Thankfully I realized I was just procrastinating my goals for the future because if I can't finish one book, I sure as heck won't finish a second and if I don't finish books, how in the world will I be able to be the first legitimate author on Dancing with the Stars? Goodness, I won't even be able to move out. ever. 
2. Use a program that is helpful to you -- There are so many different writing programs out there it is ridiculous. All of them say "this will help you the best" and some of them cost small fortunes and who has time to look through all of them? At least that was my mindset when I started trying to find a useful program. I was able to locate a program called yWriter which has been helpful to a point. I can see how helpful it is going to be once I get to the editing stage, so I'm making sure to keep my book up to date in it and everything. BUT the program I've been using for the most part is something I actually discovered while in school: Google Docs. I've got the App on my phone and I've got it on my computer. When I'm not with my computer, I generally have my phone. Sudden idea pop in my head like a screaming pterodactyl? Boom, I throw it into a doc. Overhear a perfect piece of dialogue from a customer whose nephew had the world's worst first date? Bam, into a doc. And if you're like me and like to relax in a bubble bath with a glass of wine and contemplate future issues for your protagonist, then you can put it right there in the Doc your WIP is in (as long as there is no concern of dropping it into water because phones and water don't get along -- trust me, I've been through enough phones due to water, I know). These are the two programs that I have found work well for me, so find your own and away you'll fly!
3. Turn off the internet -- This one was more difficult for me because I was writing on a Google Doc, and listening to Pandora, but it is possible to refuse to look at any other webpages. It's hard to fight the pull of Facebook and Pinterest at first, but eventually it gets easier. 
4. Set a timer, take breaks -- Don't overload your brain. If you do this, you won't get any work done for days. On my first day I thought it would be similar to writing a 20 page research paper (and getting material and sources) in one day because it was due at midnight. I did it four, maybe five times, in college (not that I'd recommend it). I had forgotten how useless I was the rest of the week when I did that. I didn't quite make it that long when trying my first super sprint. Probably because I knew my GPA wasn't counting on my doing well on a paper. For breaks, I would recommend going for a walk, getting fresh air, reminding you dog (or cat) that you do indeed still exist and still love them by having an intense play session. 
5. Drink Water -- A lot of tips I've read over the years have mentioned being sure to have plenty of coffee or tea or whatever caffeinated beverage keeps you pumped on hand, but rarely have I seen anything that says to drink water. So I'm being sure to say it. It is very difficult to focus when you are dehydrated. This also plays a key part because of the next tip.
6. Alcohol -- If you are under the drinking age this does not apply to you. At all. Because I do not condone breaking the law. Otherwise, for those who are of legal drinking age, I would recommend this to a point. Emphasis on the to a point. Being slightly tipsy did wonders for writing for me. I'm one of those people who constantly goes back to what I worked on yesterday, decides it sucks, and tries to redo it. That makes it very difficult to move forward on a project. That is what has killed past attempts for me to blog (and is part of why I force myself to write all of these blog posts in one sitting although I've planned what I'm going to say all week). But when I had some alcohol in my system, I wasn't as critical towards my work and guess what? I actually made progress. With that said, be wary. Don't cross the line between tipsy and drunk. Trying to write while drunk is not fun. Well, it was fun, but what is written doesn't necessarily make sense. 
7. Atmosphere -- The atmosphere of where you write is important in how well you can focus. Some people do well in busy areas, some people like coffee shops. Me personally? I can't have a lot of stuff going on. Thankfully, I have an office in my house, sort of. I can close myself up in the room (that isn't my bedroom, otherwise I'd just always take naps and make no progress because I was always asleep). The first day went okay (until construction workers outside decided to blare music so loudly I couldn't hear my music over it). On the second day though, I changed the candle that was lit since I love candles from one that was a lavender scent to a fruity peach one. I tend to be fond of Bath and Body Works candles, this Peach one specifically. Fruity scents wake me up and help me stay focused.

They seem rather simple, but these are seven things that helped me go from somewhat productive at the beginning of my week to being very productive (although not 10k a day productive) by the end of the week. Now, I won't get another week off again any time soon, but I will bring these tips with me for my days off in the future. I'm finally making real progress and it feels great.

Is there anything specific that helps you focus when you have to concentrate for long periods of time? Feel free to comment below!

Until next week,

Shelby Hild

Write Drunk, Edit Sober

That is my plan this week. Sort of.

One of my big problems while writing is I always look back at what I have written and decide it sucks.

And this week is all about my writing. (I mean, I took the week off of work so I could focus completely on writing now that I officially have an office in my house and can write without being distracted -- except for when the construction workers outside decide to blast spanish music so loudly I can hear it over my blaring classical music).

But don't worry. Today was day 3 of the first week of my 5k training. And it went delightfully. Cold. It went cold. Because it was cold outside. I don't like the cold. BUT I didn't use it as an excuse. I went out. I did the run. And here I am. Post shower. So I don't smell.

Sorry. I may be somewhat tipsy. But I am 23 years old so that is okay because it is completely legal here in America.

Anywho. That quote. "Write Drunk, Edit Sober" is generally attributed to Ernest Hemingway, but fun story -- no one has actually been able to link it to him. At least according to my last minute research which may or may not be able to be verified.

I have had a professor once tell me that my mind was so out there when I was sober he'd pay to see what I wrote under the influence of alcohol.

It is very likely I will end up regretting this post, but it is Monday and I am determined to update every Monday no matter what.

Today, I have walked/ run over four miles. I have stuck (mostly) by my diet (since alcohol technically isn't part of the diet). AND I have written over 5K. which is delightful. Tomorrow I plan on getting up a bit earlier (so at 8 rather than 10) in order to get more work done. I am not done writing for today either, so that is just today's current number. I know that is only half of my original goal, since I was saying I wanted to write 10K a day.

That was before remembering how distractable I am. But my real goal is to finish the first draft of my current WIP and get at least 50K done this week. While not totally forgoing the whole getting fit part of my New Year's Resolution.

I'm not actually going to get drunk every day this week because that is unhealthy. But tipsy is probably a good state because I'll still mostly be mentally there, but I'll be able to let go of my inner writing perfectionist so that I can actually progress.

Plus, I'm off all week and it is cold outside. What else can I do besides read? (There is NOTHING wrong with reading in fact I love reading it is delightful but I can't find my kindle, I don't want to start another book series because that is all I own and I won't be able to stop reading the series until I devour it and everything else written by the author so I'd get no writing done,)

Speaking of writing, it appears I can't get anything done without listening to music without words. My Epic Soundtrack station on Pandora is sending me more to random piano pieces that are soothing and somewhat put me to sleep rather than Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Braveheart, etc. Soundtracks. Any suggestions for what I could/should listen to?

Until next time, I'll be back to writing fiction. Tchao,

I'll leave you with a link to foliage in Pennsylvania. Just for Grins and Giggles here

Who Am I?

One question.

Three words.

This used to seem like a simple question.

I am Shelby Hild.

But this question composed of three simple words is quite complex.

I was bound to my name from the moment it was set in ink on my birth certificate those 23 years ago, but does my name make me?

No.

Is who I am based on the easily visible things about me? Like my blue eyes, my dark blonde hair, my braces-straightened teeth, or even the small mole on my nose?

Is who I am perhaps created by the current facts, the numbers that doctors record about me? Or just numbers in general?

Age: 23

Height: 5’7”

Weight: 160 lbs (yes, that makes my BMI 25.1)

Siblings: 3

Pets (that are specifically mine): 1

Cities lived in: 3

States visited: 12

Blankets: 10

Jobs: 4

Books read last year: 113

Lucky numbers: 3, 5 (and any multiple of those)

Favorite number: 15

Instruments playable: 1.5

Years in a band: 11

Year in marching band: 8

Best Friends: 2

Medical Issues: 4 (Allergies, Eczema, PCOS, and Strabismus-- this one isn't really a big deal anymore after two surgeries to help it)

Average amount of weekly words written: NA

In this journey to becoming a better me, I'm hoping to finally decipher who I am. Whether numbers are actually a key ingredient in the equation, I don't know.

There are two ways of improvement that seem to be the easiest to grasp at this point in my growing year: health and writing.

The first, health, is rather self-explanatory. I'm going to start taking care of my health by working out and watching what I eat.

Each month, I'll post my progress on that with weight and such. I plan to explain what is helping me through and keep my motivation up. Maybe even recipes I've come across or good workouts or something.

For writing, this blog on its own will be helpful. It will keep me writing something at least weekly. After I've finished my first draft of my current WIP, I'll start working on short stories with prompts. My plan is to post these prompts on here with my posts. I'll also post the amount of words I've written each week for everything that isn't this blog.

It is a long road I'm starting on. Despite knowing as I work on clawing my way out of this hole I may lose my grip, I might find a loose root that drops me deeper into the hole, I will get out of it.

Although this New Year’s resolution is large, I'm making these plans and I'm sticking to them.

A New Year, A New Me.

Since it is over, I can finally say it: 2015 is officially labeled the worst year of my life (so far).

It's weird because it followed 2014, which was such an amazing year, I never anticipated anything could go wrong. 1 January 2015, I was happy. I was confident. I knew who I was and where I was going. Nothing could bring me down.

Then I hit a wall. Forcefully. And then another one. And then I fell down into a gaping hole, that I doubt I've hit the bottom of yet. But I've found a root, maybe a large rock, maybe even someone’s hand in the side of the hole.

And I'm clinging to it.

Now, don't get me wrong, when compared to some people (okay, quite a few people) my life is great. I've got a Bachelor’s Degree from a great college; I've got two parents who are still together who love me and are willing to allow me to live with them until I've paid off my school loans; and I've got a job that I adore (most days).

The thing is, I've noticed something about myself.

I am a reactionary character in my own story.

That's not good. I have all of these plans and goals, but I'll never be able to accomplish them as a reactionary. Unless I'm also incredibly lucky at least.

But I don't want to-- no, I can't count on luck the rest of my life. I need to alter certain things about me before I can even hope to alter anything about the world (because I, like so many others, hope to do something to change the world, even if that means inspiring just one person).

So I'm going to become an Actionary Character. (No, that does not mean become an activist-- although depending on circumstances, that could come later.)

Step one is to better myself: physically, mentally, as a writer, and in any other way I can. I want to become the best person I can be.

Hence this blog. This will be my chronicles to becoming a better Shelby. My overall goal is to update it each week with a specific goal for that week. I plan to get fit, to learn to take risks, to face my fears. My plan is to do things.

I don't quite know where this will take me, but I hope in a positive direction.

Welcome to the Journey to a Better Shelby.