Writing What You Know or Not?

One thing I learned very quickly when I decided that pursuing a career in writing was what I wanted to do: people have their own opinions.

One thing I learned when I started aiming for better health: everyone's journey is different.

Before I start this trek to a better me, I knew both of these things but I didn't KNOW them. And the farther I get on this journey the more I realize that the things I've learned for writing goes very well for better health and vice versa.

On this journey to a better me, I've been aiming to experience more of life, to get over fears. With that, I can know more. And then my writing can become more realistic and overall better.

You know, because everyone always says write what you know.

That phrase has been the reason I've been told on multiple occasions that I can't become a successful writer, I'm too young. I don't know real hardships in life. "That's why it's good you're writing for young adults because no one would listen to a child like yourself. You'd never sell any books."

Which has always annoyed me, because although my life hasn't been full of strife, I know of many people my age who have gone through a lot. Just because someone is young doesn't mean they've not experienced anything in life.

But being told things life that, make me really wonder.

Should you only write what you know?

I understand there are a lot of pros to that.

1) you actually know what you're talking about

2) you can write very detailed about certain things, like injuries.
- I recently got my first jellyfish sting. Everything I had ever read about them was nothing like it actually felt. Now, it wasn't a bad sting, but it was nothing like I actually expected.

But there is one major con to only writing what you know: it is limiting to what you can write.

I write fantasy, and the likeliness of me ever finding a dragon to let me ride on its back to experience that is highly unlikely (although if you know of one that's let me try, please contact me;)).

No matter how much research I do into certain things, I won't truly know them unless I experience them. And as much as I am willing to do to improve my writing, I think I'll avoid getting shot or stabbed just to know exactly what it feels like.

But I do have a vivid imagination and I'm able to visualize quite a bit. Smells, sights, emotions, none of it is offlimitsoto my imagination. If it is suggested, I visualize it.

With writing, I have learned there is so much more to it than what you know.

It's as much about that as what you can imagine. And how accurate your imaginings can be.

What is your opinion? Do you prefer writing what you know or do you like to explore new realms in your imagination?

Until next time,
Shelby

Numbers Don't Matter

When I started this blog three and a half years ago, I was lost. I was in a gaping hole grasping the side with everything I had in me.

Since then, I've done everything I could to pull myself up and out of the hole. I've fought tooth, nail, and toes with adversaries that only I could truly see.

I'm in a much different spot in my life than I was then, despite the fact that I'm sitting very close to where I was when I decided to start this blog.

At that point, I had lost who I was. I didn't know anything anymore.

I was stuck in the dark, without a flashlight or any way to make a fire. There were no Stars, nothing.

That was the point I realized, even if I wasn't sure who I was, I wasn't who I wanted to be.

I was making no progress on my writing overweight, completely overwhelmed with the amount of debt I was in, and stuck. It felt like I wasn't going anywhere.

Numbers were what I held on to. How much I weighed, how many words I had written, how many calories I took in, how many cities I had been to (since I'd barely left Texas).

Over the past few years, I've come more to terms with different things.

Although writing consistently is important, the number of words I write each week aren't as big of a deal.

I've stopped tracking the exact number of calories I eat and more try to aim for healthier options.

My weight, I do care about but more in a "does this feel comfortable" sort of way rather than an I need to lose it.

Numbers aren't as big of a deal as I used to think of them.

How I feel is.

And finally, for the first time in a very long time, I can say I'm happy.

Like really happy.

The funk I'd been having really caused me to look doubly hard at myself.

Yes, I'm single and nearing my late twenties.

Yes, I still don't have a published book out.

No, I'm not this super tough, strong woman.

But I am the strongest I've ever been.

I am in the best shape I've ever been in.

I'm confident in who I am (even if I'm still trying to figure it who exactly that is).

My writing style is improving with each day that goes by.

My loans are no longer so unbearably high (so close to being done with them I can practically taste it).

I'm having fun. I'm traveling. I'm meeting new people and making new friends.

I've finally moved up somewhat at my job. Although the new responsibilities still throw me off sometimes, it's nice.

I'm making plans to continue traveling. To do things I never actually thought I'd do (climbing the Alps,a going to Africa, and skydiving, I'm looking at you).

I'm happy.

And for the first time in my life that I can remember, that happiness has nothing to do with a number. It has to do with me.

I'm growing every day. And learning every day.

The weird feeling I've recently had actually pushed me to this realization and I'm grateful for it.

A few firsts that I never thought would happen have over the past year.

I've been to Miami and New Orleans.

I left the country.

I freaking saw the sunrise in Belize.

I started the plans for jumping out of a plane.

This growth that I've experienced of late is so important to me.

Although I'm not exactly the dynamic character I would like to be, I'm no longer a static, reactionary character in my own story.

So even though I feel like most of my posts this year (at least recently) have been rather negative, I'm on my way to who I want to be.

And that's because I've realized after a long and hard few years:

Numbers don't matter.

That was probably one of the biggest mental hurdles I've had to overcome in this Journey to a Better Shelby.

In your life, what is your biggest hurdle to becoming who you want to be (especially if you're on a journey like this)? How are you reaching to overcome it? Tell me in the comments!

Until Next Time,
Shelby

Getting Back on the Horse (of Writing Consistently)

Those of you who have been following me on this Journey to a Better Shelby are probably very aware of my off and on struggle to keep writing.

If you are a fellow creative being, then you are probably aware of the struggle.

I mentioned a few posts ago about a bit of a funk I fell into and although it isn't anywhere near as bad as it was, it is still here. No matter how much I try to fight it.

The funk was with all aspects of my life, writing, working out, eating healthy, and even my actual day job.

Where my day job is concerned, the funk has been kicked out. And I'm finally back to watching what I eat and working out. (I'm on week 3 of the Ideal Shapeup challenge again.)

It's rough getting back to writing and exercising everyday. But I am getting there.

One of the things I recently did that really has helped get my motivation for writing back up is reread what I have written already for the second draft of my Elemi story.

I have avoided it in the past because I was scared it really was this horrible piece of writing that would make me doubt any skills at all in writing and I would start arguing with myself over whether I really could become an author someday. Especially since I'm hoping to go the traditional route.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the idea of self publishing. I just don't think I'd be able to market well enough to really make an impact.

Now, I was terrified to try reading it again.

But once I did it, I realized I have recently read much worse books. That were published traditionally.

Yes, it still needs a LOT of work. Including, you know, actually finishing it.

But it doesn't seem so much like an impossible task anymore.

And it feeling like an impossible task is part of what has kept me from really working on it.

Part of, most of actually, but not all. I had too many projects going on at once.

It just ended up stressing me out too much. So now I'm narrowing down my projects.

I'll focus on this story while I keep putting out query letters for the children's picture book manuscripts. Then when I finish it and send it out to Beta Readers, I'll go back to the Dragon's Thief.

SO I have a plan. Which is always helpful for me.

And with that,
I'll finish this remarkably short post.

Until next time,
Shelby

An Honest Review of Fragrant Jewels #1

One of the big things these day happens to be those subscription boxes of basically anything, clothes, food, pet toys and treats, razors, and basically anything you can think of.

Overall, I have been rather skeptically about them, so I've avoided signing up for any of them. (Plus in my brain I've been too broke to sign up for a $40-100 subscription thing.)

My Facebook has recently upped the amount of ads it has been showing me for a company called Fragrant Jewels and I accidentally clicked on one about a month ago now. The screen on my phone is a bit broken (and I've been too lazy to go out and find a Verizon store near me that fixes screens because I'm concerned they will tell me that I have to send my phone in to be fixed and I'd prefer not to have that happen. I've been without a phone a lot in the past 12 months.)

Since I was already there on the website and had nothing better to do, I decided to browse the site for a bit. I wound up earning through a scratch off thing a free ring if I ordered within the next hour. AND I could get free shipping if I spent over $50.

I was either sleep deprived or in an extra gullible state, whatever the case is, my brain was like "oh, free stuff? I shall partake!" and so I ordered two bath bombs (did not make the $50 free shipping qualification, but whatevs) and selected my ring size.

You see, Fragrant Jewels is one of those businesses that hides rings in candles and bath bombs. I'm not a huge jewelry wearer, but if I get surprise rings that I don't pick, who knows maybe I'll just start becoming a jewelry wearer. At least, that was what I thought at the time.

I wasn't putting much stock into actually liking the rings. But I love bath bombs. And the videos of the ones they had definitely intrigued me.

SO I put in my order, got the order confirmation, and waited. And waited. And waited some more. I am pretty sure I checked the order number a hundred times to be sure it was still processing. A week later, I get an email saying my order has been shipped. The reason it takes so long for the order to be processed is because they make each bath bomb after the order has been placed. Otherwise how can they get the properly sized ring in each of the bath bombs? Make sense to me, but I know there are a lot of complaints about it online. I guess it helps that I'm a relatively patient person and I wasn't buying it for anyone but myself.

My order has been shipped and I sign up to get the tracking information emailed to me every time it moves cities and when it is out for delivery and all that jazz. I do this for everything I order because it amuses me to watch where my product goes.

Like back when I had to replace my phone right after Hurricane Harvey hit, my new phone went all around Texas. And it took three separate visits to Houston then turned around to go somewhere else before finally hitting Houston when the flooding had receded enough for it to get through.

Any way, back to the topic at hand. Initially, the tracking said it would take twelve days to get to me. I was a bit saddened, but not enough to really be upset.

Then about five days later, exactly two weeks from me putting in the order, I got a message saying my package is out for delivery. Although I was at work when it got to my house, I got home early enough to get to take a close look at everything.

I opened the box and powder from one of the bath bombs went everywhere. I would have been upset that it had crumbled in shipping if it hadn't smelled so wonderful. Since I live in Texas and it is summer, I tend to anticipate beauty products not getting to me completely intact. Candles melt, lipstick melts, goodness, even liquid gel medication some times melts together if I leave my purse in the car. And it wasn't too damaged, just a chunk out of the side.

In the box were two bath bombs (Earth and White Gardenia). And a free ring.

Normally, I'm not a fan of multiple jewel rings, but this one has just enough shine to it that I actually really like it. Plus I can wear it with multiple colors which I love.

Pretty quickly after opening this one, I decide that I just HAVE to go take a bath so that I can try out the bath bombs.

A lot of the Ring Reveals that I have watched online have the people just placing the bomb in water until the ring is revealed, but I feel that is a waste of part of the bath bomb (although I assume after they finish the reveal, they do use the water for bathing activities).

I decided on using the Earth bath bomb because it was already damaged.

The description of what this bath bomb smells like Mango, Goji Berry, Black Currant, Amber, and Sugared mask. 

I was concerned it would smell overpowering, it didn't. There was just enough of each scent that you could tell what it was and it was so relaxing. And the scent lasted for at least an hour after I got out of the tub. 

For those of you wondering, yes that is Pokemon music you hear in the background.

The pictures and videos I got don't do the bath bomb justice. At all. 

I was so hypnotized by the explosion of blues and greens swirling in front of me, exuding this wonderful scent that I forgot I was waiting for it to give me a ring. SO when this little plastic ball popped up in the water, I was slightly shocked. 

I couldn't tell much about the ring because it was wrapped in a gold foil (which I correctly assumed was the code I needed to type into their website's "vault." So I opened it quite easily by squeezing the sides together. 

I am still very happy with this ring. It is still a little larger than I am used to with rings, but I really like it. 

The next day, of course, I tried out the white gardenia one. 

I absolutely love this ring. It is the simplest of the three, but oh my goodness. The stone in the center is a light lavender. So light, in fact, that you can't always tell it has a color to it. 

Now, the white Gardenia didn't have nearly as cool of a "show" but it smelled so good. And the smell lasted. I went into my bathroom a good three hours after the bath and it STILL smelled of white gardenias. 

So of course I decided to sign up for the membership (Inner Circle), immediately. Because I did mental math and realized if I stop eating out so much (which I already needed to do because of my diet needing to come back under control) then even with this membership, I'll still be saving over $10 a week. And I ordered four more bath bombs.

When I signed up for the program though, I accidentally used my more professional email address, and had to get in contact with customer services. The response was quick and cordial. It got fixed promptly, and the problem order wasn't closed until I said thank you for your help. And I was very happy with that. 

The only issue with that was the order I placed after signing up for the membership seemed to vanish from my account. I had thankfully gotten the "Order Received" email prior to it. SO I emailed Customer service again, just to make sure the order, you know, still existed. 

The response I got to that, even though in the email I sent I said I knew that it took time to process, I just wanted to be sure it was still there, came across poorly. It basically just reiterated that it would take a week to process. Like, I already knew that. And it was closed immediately, so I didn't feel I could try to rephrase my question at all.

So a week passed, and I get the email saying my Inner Circle order has been shipped (I have since received it and will put my review of it sometime in the near future). But three days later, I still hadn't heard anything about the other order. 

I did the only logical thing in my mind and reemailed customer service, this time adding that the other order I placed on the same day is in my city and out for delivery. The response I got from them this time was much more cordial. I was informed that it was in the process of being sent to be shipped and within the hour, I got an email saying it had been shipped. 

Although, I am still waiting for that package to arrive, I anticipate it arriving within the next week. 

Overall, (as a TLDR;) My experiences with Fragrant Jewels has been positive. The bath bombs smell wonderful, the rings are pretty (and sturdier than I anticipated), and there has been no staining of my tub (yet). If you want to get one of these as a gift for someone, order it well in advance. Like, honestly, I'd say place the order a month in advance just in case. It is better to give a gift early (haha coming from me that is almost funny because 90% of the time I give a gift it is late). It takes at least a week for processing because each product is made after it has been ordered. Customer service is hit or miss, either really good or bad (there are some nightmare stories out there about the CS, but I only experienced a slightly negative experience-- which I'm sure is because people get impatient and bombard these people with where's my order emails so the person was tired of answering them and didn't actually read my email). 

The main concern I have (and had) is the lack of negative reviews on the website. It makes it come across as a scam, which I've not experienced yet. But it is always suspicious when every product only has 5 star reviews.    

Until Next Time, 

Shelby