April's Monthly Musings

Today is not about anything huge.

I've got no list on how to improve your life, or how I'm trying to improve mine.

Really, this blog post is one that deals with different thoughts recently.

First off:

-Game of Thrones: OH MY GOSH. That's really all I can say without, you know, spoiling that ending. Oh my gosh. WHAT?

-Dancing With The Stars: I appreciated Doug being on it and I loved his drive, but he was the worst dancer of the group. As much as I adore Jodie, it won't surprise me if she leaves pretty soon, solely in terms of dancing and improvement levels. Granted I totally voted for her, Paige, and Ginger. I can do nothing that any of them are doing (at least currently). Seriously, I now own two of the Dancing with the stars exercise DVDs and couldn't even figure out what was being don being the first dance.

-Survivor: Eh, Scott needed to go. Him and Jason thoroughly annoy me.

-The Voice: I don't consistently watch this but it is currently on TV and I'm unsure what's going on....

-Books: I finally read the Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. It was good. The descriptions were delightful and the world building was fantastic. I've not read any of the books that it is consistently compared to (except for Hunger Games and the first Divergent book), so I wasn't hindered in that way. The twist at the end was pretty guessable, her clues were pretty heavily scattered throughout the book. At times I wish there was more character growth, but it isn't the last book so I am looking forward to seeing how she (and Cal) do grow. I wanted more to happen with Maven because his feeling for Mare (you know they are there) can create great tension later on, but how it was left makes it seem less plausible.

I've also reread Dragonfly in Amber by Diana Gabaldon and it was just as good the second time through as it was the first.

-Exercising: Recently I have completely failed at exercising, but not any more. I'm getting back in the habit (not that I ever was in the habit of it....) and I'm requiring myself to workout prior to going to work. Which means getting up earlier than I so desire. In my head I'm realizing perhaps I need a personal trainer that I can pay up front and then force myself to go to because I hate wasting money. Anyone know an affordable Personal Trainer near Houston?

-Eating: My diet has kinda fallen off the wayside as well. I mean it was mostly in celebration of completing my first draft, but I can't use that excuse anymore. I was going to wait until May 1st to really revive both eating and exercising, but then realized I always push things back. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm reviving my diet right now.

Overall, things are going well. I've been working at work. Although nothing is quite as peppy as it was because one of my supportive coworkers had something (what I've got no idea) occur. If she sees this (you know who you are), I hope she realizes how worried everyone is and how much we all miss her. She's in my thoughts and I hope everything is getting better.

Despite that, I've hit some sort of block. It hit me really hard a few days ago and I'm terrified. It's as though my first draft doesn't truly matter and it just sucks and I'm never going to be able to get published, never going to improve, and all of the work I've put into my writing (not just my first draft but also the work it took for me to get my BA in Writing and everything I have ever written) is just for nothing. With that it makes me nervous that I will never surpass where I am now.

Don't get me wrong, my life is fine. I've got a roof over my head, and a job that keeps my loans paid. In fact I've not even got to pay rent or food or anything like that unless I feel like it. The thing is, I want to pay rent and I want to be a responsible adult. Currently I feel as though I'm stuck in an in between. Not an adult, but not a teenager, or child either. It's frustrating and I'm feeling so incredibly....stuck. Stationary.

I need to get this WIP on the move, but I know I probably should let it rest some more because I can't help but totally obsess over it when I'm not working on it. I will start writing my second first draft pretty soon, you know, the one that will be a trilogy that I actually have an outline for. I'm hoping it'll be easier to write with one than without one. Being unable to concentrate was one of the reasons that this is another non-list blog, soon I'll be back to those. Maybe. No promises.

But there will be another blog post.

Also, I think Tuesdays are replacing Monday for my day of posting, unless my boss changes what day I have off again.

Until Next Time,
Shelby Hild